College Apps, whats that?

 

   College essays, where do I even begin. The week we started discussing college essays and Mrs. Feldkamp said "It's about the WHAT and HOW" is when I realized I had none of those in mind and I might possibly be behind the whole class. My legs started shaking and my mind went all over the place, stressing over the million possible things I could write about. Do I trauma dump? Nah, colleges don't want that. Do I write about my failures in high school? No, too cliche. Do I talk about about my anemia? Nah, I don't want pity. Every single idea I came up with was a failure to me. Every. Single. One. 






I finally got over my writer's block and stopped whining. I made a list of legit ideas and started drafting instead of overthinking about what's good and what's not good. I started getting the flow of things but wasn't content with my writing. So, therefore, I took a break. Now you may ask why take a break in the middle of something so good. My thoughts were good and my ideas were also kinda of good but my writing, not so much. I didn't like the way I formatted things and I remembered back to what the teacher told me about the different ways to handle that situation. I implied that in my writing and made some progress.






I learned that it's so hard to write things, even about yourself. You think you know your "what" and "how" but it's so much more complicated than that. You have to know why, when, where, who, what, and the list goes on. Everything has to be in its right place. At least in my mind. Through this whole process, I definitely struggled a lot and I still am. But honestly, that's what it makes fun. The failures are what make the process fun because what's life when everything goes in a linear manner.




So now as I write my essays, I just go with the flow cause that's all I can do at this point. My essay isn't perfect, but it'll get there soon. I just have to somehow get my thoughts into the right words. Hopefully.




Oh well, all I can say to myself now is good luck. How am I supposed to get through med school let alone college if I can't write one college essay about MY OWN LIFE. Only gets harder from here ;)





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